So as its New Year we are following the tradition of looking back over the past year. Our most significant event in 2015 was our very own screening on Channel 4’s Four in a Bed, equal we are sure to the long awaited Star Wars screening. Much to the amusement of our customers, bemusement of ourselves (we still haven’t been able to face watching it) and entertainment of voyeurs Zak got his 15 minutes (plus a bit extra) of fame. But in the words of Han Solo – Zak decided to ‘play the great kid, don’t get cocky’.
Zak, not usually known for his extrovert behaviour took the high road and showed his diplomatic and reasonable side to the nation – not usually obvious working alongside his mother but it’s nice to know it exists! His game plan was ‘to be fair’ and ‘nice’ – has his mother taught him nothing about playing games? So while Zak flounced around in his new wellies milking cows – bought as part of his no holds barred TV wardrobe – his mother was left holding, and scrubbing, the fort.
We were second to be filmed. On returning back from the first location shoot, along with the camera crew, he was confronted by a rather heated discussion with our cleaner which wouldn’t have proved a consistent business approach, let alone game plan, to being diplomatic or reasonable especially as the cleaner was being sacked.
The tension was palpable.
The scene was set.
The cameras poised.
The Bet lynch lookalike ‘contestant’ arrived and silently declared war. Although she didn’t know I was the joint owner, meaning I overheard her on the telephone insisting she was ‘playing fair’ unlike the others. Did she mistake fair as delusional? As Obi Wan Kenobi would say ‘Your eyes can deceive you. Don’t trust them.’ She nicely played up to the role of scapegoat and ‘baddie’ as presumably chosen for her at production stage – some people never learn! She left us pondering on a follow up programme ‘Four Leaving the Bed’. Despite the apparent hairs, cobwebs & yellow stuff she planted, sorry we mean found, upsetting her to the point of deeming us such poor value pay that she felt compelled to underpay she clearly didn’t find it upsetting leaving the room strewn with false eyelashes, corn plasters, lipstick on the window (was she kissing her reflection?) and chocolate smeared on the bed (well we hope it was chocolate). I suppose when you are busy pointing the finger you can’t use them to pick things up.
Customers always ask, ‘Was it worth it? Would you do it again?’
Well, Zak gained some admirers. Customers popping in who only wanted to speak to him. Giggling girlie anonymous phone calls that his mum had to listen to! Lovely messages of support. And TV critic Twitter fan @auntiepegg who labelled his face on TV as …’a right dish!!!’ Of course we didn’t get any mileage out of that!
Did good triumph over evil – well no. We were joint third with the baddie because Zak was fair and paid the full price or over!But as Ahsoko Tano said, ‘This is a New day, a new beginning’. And we don’t need TV to know we were actually the best!